Marital Advice For the Real World
  • If you're confused by all the marital advice floating around online and during talk shows today, it's not just you. It looks like many people are an authority. Some well-known marriage therapists have been married (and divorced!) 2-3 times or even more. With this kind of history, if feels like some may know what does not work properly but haven't quite discovered what does work. On the other extreme, you have experts who give marriage advice but they haven't been married themselves.

    Nevertheless there is no not enough "experts" giving out marital advice, I favor to attend the real experts: couples who have been married happily for decades. Whenever I see a silver-haired couple who still take a look at the other person like newlyweds, I ponder precisely what is the secret of their success? After doing some research, here is a little gem for marriage from longtime couples...

    Failure is just not an alternative. Couples in successful marriages are undoubtedly committed to their union. They take very seriously their marriage vows and do not entertain thoughts that perhaps they will be happier elsewhere. Divorce simply isn't part of their vocabulary. When you realize you are with someone for better or worse, 'til death do you part, you become serious about cultivating a harmonious household atmosphere.


    Common Spirituality. Best couples share a standard spiritual background or value system. The old saying, "The family that prays together, stays together," holds true in a marriage as well. Christian marriage counseling often stresses the importance of attending worship services together to help you mend broken marriages. If you are not inclined to think in a higher power, using a shared goal or passion also can unite a couple.

    Mutual Respect. You won't need to agree with your better half all the time, however it is imperative that you respect their opinion. One answer to an enduring marriage is accepting and understanding your differences. This means never dismissing your spouse's feelings or concerns, even though they seem silly to you.

    Ongoing engaged . Even older couples agree that intimacy in a marriage is important. And in contrast to other marital advice that would have you do calisthenics in the bedroom, real couples claim that there isn't any need to reinvent the wheel. The thought that marital intimacy should be constantly exciting and new is overrated. What's important is always that each spouse takes the time in order to meet the other's needs. And that means taking your affection out of your bedroom too - physical contact for example non-sexual hugs, kisses and caresses help spouses conserve a bond each day.

    One Marriage, 2 different people. Perhaps one piece of marital advice that might surprise younger couples is that a happy marriage doesn't involve two different people being joined in the hip constantly. While you should watch out for the trap of becoming "married singles" in places you both lead separate lives, its also wise to avoid co-dependency. Older couples not just share activities and hobbies, but they also nurture their individual passions at the same time. Sometimes, the top marital advice based on how to save a wedding is to observe that you happen to be each folks who need your personal breathing space. Suffocating your spouse by demanding their full attention 24/7 can rapidly turn a contented marriage into a nightmare situation.

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